Desires of the heart

When people ask about Zeke they almost always ask if He goes to school? his age and if he will begin kindergarten? Most people are shocked when I tell them that we will be homeschooling Zeke. When Zeke was first born and are lives became consumed with specialist, and long trips to doctors in Indy. Countless hours worrying about all the uncertainty of what might be to come. Hundreds of tears cried. I found myself, left hopeless. A dream I had carried since I was little girl had been riped from me.

At career day in school when you where asked to draw and write about what you wanted to be when you grew up. The other girls wanted to be teachers, doctors, nurses, ect. I was writing about wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, I wanted to home school my kids and take care of my family. With Zeke came therapies (and lots of them). Our weeks flowed into one another. And before I new it he was 3, unable to receive the therapies at home and was transferred into public pre-school. I was felt to believe that it was the only choice, he would fail if we didn't continue in this direction. As every piece of my heart broke for my dream, I reluctantly sent him to pre-school, He loved it, and made improvements, but It was not only because of him going to pre-school, at this point he was still receive private therapy 2x a week, and my constant help at home.

Fast forward to March of this year, my baby is 5 and by chronological age (regardless of ability) was being forced into a main-stream class with absolutely no aid ( I have nothing wrong with public school, but for Zeke it was not a right choice). I left his meeting at school broken and hurt. I cried, I prayed, I questioned. There was no understanding within me, no peace. When it comes to doing anything major, I do not move unless I fell peace, and I have heard from God.

One day As I was washing dishes, praying and crying out to God. Questioning why he would give me a strong desire in my heart that would be impossible, Why he would give me a child that I wouldn't be able to do the one thing I have wanted to do more than anything in the world? The devil began to put thoughts in my mind, crippling my spirit. As if God stood up and said enough is enough, He began recalling scriptures to my mind for every question I had there was a scripture to justify. Why he would give me a strong desire? for I know the desires of your heart. Why he would give me a child I could not home school? Nothing is Impossible with God. But God wasn't finished yet. He placed a scripture in my heart, that I kept close. He will not give us more than we can bare. Maybe homeschooling wasn't out of reach after all.

As my husband and I talked more about it, it started to become a question not if? but when?. Should we give him one year of Kindergarten, The question than became do I put my energy into fighting a school or teaching my kid. As this major choice soon came. I was asking my husband about what he thought, he instantly gave me the scripture about God not giving us more than we can bare. and that this would be the best choice for Zeke and our family. That I was capable, because God made me capable. Peace filled my heart, Joy began to fill the pieces of what I thought were broken. WE were going to home school. God new what he was doing when He gave us Zeke, and we have learnt to lean on him and trust his will for Zeke's live even when it doesn't make since to us.

With this comes 2 emotions. I am excited, I can not wait to home school my children and to be their teacher. I have come to love every minute of them growing up. I am also nervous beyond belief, as I'm sure most parents are, they want to make sure that they are doing the best for their child. I am not fearful, I am humbled and thankful that God has given me this chance.

So in a little over a month away. I will be fulfilling a life long dream of mine. God has given me a desire and has set my path in order for me to be able to follow his will for me. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but it is for myself, my children and this family.

As for me and my house we will serve the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome our new addition (a little late)

Since Aug, I have felt like I fell off the planet, traveled thur the black whole in space and gravity has finally sucken me back into this world we call life. That's right I had a baby :). Mr. Oliver Gabriel Contreras was born on November 4 2010. 7 lbs and 13 oz and 21 1/2 inches, he has been a wonderful addition to our ever growing family. The first 3 months were very difficult, everyone one was trying to find there place in our family. Zeke and Jocelynn were fighting for attention, Oliver was trying to make since of the insanity that he was born into. While me and my husband were tackling the every day challenges of raising 3 kids in a hecked schedule that left us home only one night a week. Our church has been in an ongoing revival, taking up Wed thur Friday , Zeke's therapies, and other family obligations. But don't get me wrong. I love our crazy life and don't know what I would do if left at home. Since then All 3 kids have found a special bond with on another, I don't know that they could ever imainge life without one another. We have eased into a routine (a crazy one, but none the less it is still a set schedule). And I believe that my husband and I have finally found a way to manage with 3 kids, house duties, church, actives and everything else.

Pennies for Mickey's House

Over the summer when the travel channel had on, one of there Disney weeks. We were watching it and Jocelynn was so thrilled to see that Mickey had his own home (Disney World). Jocelynn thought that we could just jump in her daddy's car and drive there. After almost a week of asking daily to go to Mickey's house. I told her that Mickey's house cost a lot of money and we had to save up all our pennies. This has stuck and when ever we talk about Disney, we are hoping to take a trip next year. Jocelynn mention that we have to save up our pennies. It's really cute and hopefully she has learnt at this young age that you have to save you can't just get what you want when you want. Not a lesson I set out to teach her, but a good lesson for her to learn. Back to my story. Yesterday we were sitting at the computer and she saw a penny picked it up and said Mickey's House. I told her that we had to save up more of them but we would put that one in her piggy bank. It was very sweet to see her literally start to save up for Mickey's house. Of course she will need more than just pennies, but we won't brake her little heart :)