My Pride and Joy

Desires of the heart

2011-07-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

When people ask about Zeke they almost always ask if He goes to school? his age and if he will begin kindergarten? Most people are shocked when I tell them that we will be homeschooling Zeke. When Zeke was first born and are lives became consumed with specialist, and long trips to doctors in Indy. Countless hours worrying about all the uncertainty of what might be to come. Hundreds of tears cried. I found myself, left hopeless. A dream I had carried since I was little girl had been riped from me.

At career day in school when you where asked to draw and write about what you wanted to be when you grew up. The other girls wanted to be teachers, doctors, nurses, ect. I was writing about wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, I wanted to home school my kids and take care of my family. With Zeke came therapies (and lots of them). Our weeks flowed into one another. And before I new it he was 3, unable to receive the therapies at home and was transferred into public pre-school. I was felt to believe that it was the only choice, he would fail if we didn't continue in this direction. As every piece of my heart broke for my dream, I reluctantly sent him to pre-school, He loved it, and made improvements, but It was not only because of him going to pre-school, at this point he was still receive private therapy 2x a week, and my constant help at home.

Fast forward to March of this year, my baby is 5 and by chronological age (regardless of ability) was being forced into a main-stream class with absolutely no aid ( I have nothing wrong with public school, but for Zeke it was not a right choice). I left his meeting at school broken and hurt. I cried, I prayed, I questioned. There was no understanding within me, no peace. When it comes to doing anything major, I do not move unless I fell peace, and I have heard from God.

One day As I was washing dishes, praying and crying out to God. Questioning why he would give me a strong desire in my heart that would be impossible, Why he would give me a child that I wouldn't be able to do the one thing I have wanted to do more than anything in the world? The devil began to put thoughts in my mind, crippling my spirit. As if God stood up and said enough is enough, He began recalling scriptures to my mind for every question I had there was a scripture to justify. Why he would give me a strong desire? for I know the desires of your heart. Why he would give me a child I could not home school? Nothing is Impossible with God. But God wasn't finished yet. He placed a scripture in my heart, that I kept close. He will not give us more than we can bare. Maybe homeschooling wasn't out of reach after all.

As my husband and I talked more about it, it started to become a question not if? but when?. Should we give him one year of Kindergarten, The question than became do I put my energy into fighting a school or teaching my kid. As this major choice soon came. I was asking my husband about what he thought, he instantly gave me the scripture about God not giving us more than we can bare. and that this would be the best choice for Zeke and our family. That I was capable, because God made me capable. Peace filled my heart, Joy began to fill the pieces of what I thought were broken. WE were going to home school. God new what he was doing when He gave us Zeke, and we have learnt to lean on him and trust his will for Zeke's live even when it doesn't make since to us.

With this comes 2 emotions. I am excited, I can not wait to home school my children and to be their teacher. I have come to love every minute of them growing up. I am also nervous beyond belief, as I'm sure most parents are, they want to make sure that they are doing the best for their child. I am not fearful, I am humbled and thankful that God has given me this chance.

So in a little over a month away. I will be fulfilling a life long dream of mine. God has given me a desire and has set my path in order for me to be able to follow his will for me. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but it is for myself, my children and this family.

As for me and my house we will serve the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome our new addition (a little late)

2011-04-01T08:09:00.000-07:00

Since Aug, I have felt like I fell off the planet, traveled thur the black whole in space and gravity has finally sucken me back into this world we call life. That's right I had a baby :). Mr. Oliver Gabriel Contreras was born on November 4 2010. 7 lbs and 13 oz and 21 1/2 inches, he has been a wonderful addition to our ever growing family. The first 3 months were very difficult, everyone one was trying to find there place in our family. Zeke and Jocelynn were fighting for attention, Oliver was trying to make since of the insanity that he was born into. While me and my husband were tackling the every day challenges of raising 3 kids in a hecked schedule that left us home only one night a week. Our church has been in an ongoing revival, taking up Wed thur Friday , Zeke's therapies, and other family obligations. But don't get me wrong. I love our crazy life and don't know what I would do if left at home. Since then All 3 kids have found a special bond with on another, I don't know that they could ever imainge life without one another. We have eased into a routine (a crazy one, but none the less it is still a set schedule). And I believe that my husband and I have finally found a way to manage with 3 kids, house duties, church, actives and everything else.

Pennies for Mickey's House

2010-08-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

Over the summer when the travel channel had on, one of there Disney weeks. We were watching it and Jocelynn was so thrilled to see that Mickey had his own home (Disney World). Jocelynn thought that we could just jump in her daddy's car and drive there. After almost a week of asking daily to go to Mickey's house. I told her that Mickey's house cost a lot of money and we had to save up all our pennies. This has stuck and when ever we talk about Disney, we are hoping to take a trip next year. Jocelynn mention that we have to save up our pennies. It's really cute and hopefully she has learnt at this young age that you have to save you can't just get what you want when you want. Not a lesson I set out to teach her, but a good lesson for her to learn. Back to my story. Yesterday we were sitting at the computer and she saw a penny picked it up and said Mickey's House. I told her that we had to save up more of them but we would put that one in her piggy bank. It was very sweet to see her literally start to save up for Mickey's house. Of course she will need more than just pennies, but we won't brake her little heart :)

2010-07-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

It's that time again for a new post :) and I've got pictures like I have been promising. It turns out nothing is wrong with my camera or the cord, just the person who is using it.

Pregnancy is going GREAT. we had our ultrasound a couple of weeks ago and everything looked GREAT. the baby is shy and did not want anything to do with it so we got a picture of a butt, leg and arm. but that's alright. We have decided to wait until the Birthday to find out what we are having but names are Lydia Renae or Oliver Gabriel. I am 23 weeks along, and at this point although I can't wait to hold my new little miracle in my arms, I often wonder what I have gotten myself into. I know that with and only with God's help I can raise them, but it is still a little scary I must admit. This Pregnancy has been very emotional for me. the devil has really been playing mind games with me on the health of the baby. Ever since the fist ultrasound with Zeke when we discovered there might be something wrong, i find the worry of a not so healthy child on my mind. I just have to remind myself that God is the one in control, he's plans are already lined out for me and my children, and that he know's best and accept his will for my life. About 2 month's before I had Zeke, God gave me a peace that Zeke have DS (this was not determined medicaly speaking until after he was born) That he would be just fine. It's an amazing felling I remember the very place I was and everything about that afternoon of peace and confirmation. Jocelynn's pregnancy although worry crept in, I didn't let it bother me i knew she would be fine. This Pregnancy was very different the thought of having another child with DS crippled me I was unable to eat or sleep. If it is God's will for me to raise another child with DS than I'm on board 100%. However I need that Peace. the kind that surpasses ALL understanding. the Peace that is with you in the middle of the night when no one is around. the Peace that is undiscribable in words. and I was not felling that Peace. It wasn't until in a car one afternoon driving past the same place that God reminded me of that Peace he gave me before Zeke was even born. He also confirmed that this baby would be healthy and everything would be OK. Since that day I haven't once thought about this child having DS, not even waiting for the ultrasound. which in the past the wait for the ultra sound was a very sickening time. My worry know is taking all 3 out to the store by myself, or surrving an afternoon of meltdowns when 3 little ones need a mommy, while she's making dinner (I'm hoping those are normal worries :)

Potty Training is another big issue in our house. Jocelynn has been in Potty Trained since last Winter. Zeke was ready and so we put him back in diapers and waited until the summer when he would be home from school and I could work with him one on one. He is doing AMAZING. very stubbornly. I decided the other day that after he took a dry diaper off and told us he had to go potty that he was ready. Pull-ups do not work for him, he thinks he can just pee in them (Joce has that same thinking). So I put him in underwear got out the timer and we started going, sometimes kicking and screaming, but it's more because he doesn't want to stop doing what it is he is doing. I think it helps him to know that he can't get his big boy underwear wet. We are very far away from popping in the potty, but I'm thrilled he is peeping in it. Jocelynn has been a big help and encourager to Zeke. She sometimes wants attention, which I can't blame her I have to remember I don't have a 4 year old trained and trying to train a 2 year old. I have a 2 year old trained and am trying to train a 4 year old. I forget sometimes that she isn't Zeke's twin or older sibling but she is younger than him.

BIG NEWS

2010-05-18T07:54:00.001-07:00

Wow. I really didn't realize how long it has been since I have posted. March was a very busy month, and I'm not sure what happened to April. I guess the biggest news is that I'm Pregnant :) I am 16 weeks along and baby number 3 is due Nov 3rd. We are very excited and can not wait to have a new blessing in our arms. Zeke and Joce are very excited and they tell the baby hi every morning and give there new sibling a kiss. We have had some changes in the past few months, positive ones :) Richard was offered a days position at his work, we had been praying for quite some time for him to be moved to a different shift. He is now home more to see the kids more and I fell like we have a little more structure in are lives. Another big change is Zeke has began to ride the bus home from school. He loves it, This was more of a change for me than for him. Its hard to let you kids go, especially when they are young. Jocelynn hasn't really had any major changes she is talking in sentences now, and loves to learn. As for me this has been a very hard pregnancy of which I hope to share in a later post. I'm getting by and am coming out on top :) So that is what's been happening with us. Enjoy the spring

B U S Y

2010-03-04T11:31:00.000-08:00

I would like to say it has been slow here in the Contreras house and I didn't think you guys wanted to read about daily naps. But it has been anything but that. In the beinging of this year we learnt that Zeke's therapy clinic in T.H. was closing down. This came at a shock and we were not thrilled. Not only would that mean no more weekly therapies convently located on the other end of town, but that would mean new therapist at a time when Zeke was making amazing progress. So I spent most of Janurary on the phone with therapy clinics tring to get Zeke a spot. Thankfully Union offers therapy we take him 2x a week for Speech and Feeding therapy, and the therapist is pretty good. Zeke seemed to adjust to the change well and does fairly good. I most say I miss seeing his old therapist weekly, she was a christian and it was nice to have weekly chats with her, but Callie is a nice change for Zeke and he really seems to like. The way this therapy clinic is set up (and the other one he goes to) I don't go back in the room with him, so I don't have the opportunity to get to know the therapist as I have in the past. Zeke's other therapy clinic is 1 1/2 hours away in Carmel. It is an AMAZING therapy clinic, with tons of tools that were not available in T.H. One of which is a Horse, they use the horse's movement to help strengthen and work on skills that is impossible to work on in a "normal" setting. Zeke Loves the horse. I did cry the first time he got on it was an amazing accomplishment for him. We have Occupational and Physical therapies, Thankfully they are the same day so that only means one trip to Indy each week, and with a target nearby, Jocelynn and I are still able to get our us time in.

Zeke hasn't been the only one keeping me busy. After 2 weeks of Jocelynn asking for her turn on the horse all the way home I told hungry we had to get her something special for her to do weekly. We decided to put her in Gymnastics or as she says "Nasics" it has been a great for her to have something to call her own. Sometimes everything that goes on with Zeke, Jocelynn can get overlooked. She does very well going to therapies and dr.s appt, I know she doesn't understand why Zeke goes to therapies and dr.s and why he doesn't do the typical stuff other kids are doing at his age, but I don't want her to fell that she is any less important than Zeke.

I along with the kids have been busy, actually I think they are the ones that keep me busy. I'm ready for summer to get here so Zeke doesn't have to go to school I can keep him home with me. I'm ready for the days when after nap time the kids can play outside until dinner time. I'm ready for the long lazy days of summer. where I can just relax and enjoy the sunlight.

Some other big accomplishments. is Jocelynn is 100% potty trained, except for nap time and bedtime. and Zeke had his 4th birthday. I was very sad at this birthday 3 they can still pass as a baby, but 4 lets face it they are a little kid :( It's said alot, but until they are actually your own kids I don't think it is completely understood, they grow wayyyyyyyyy toooooooo fast.

2009-12-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas was wonderful this year. It's nice every year, but this year seemed to be just a little bit more special, as it was the first year that both the kids really started to understand about Santa coming and about Jesus birthday. (although Joce is a little confused) We had a great time with my sister's and nieces making Christmas cookies. Very messy but well worth it. Santa was very kind to the kids this year he brought Zeke a tree set and Jocelynn a doll house. Here are some pictures. I hope you Enjoy and that you had a wonderful Christmas.

2009-12-17T12:02:00.000-08:00

It's about time I post something. I think I am busyer now than when I worked and have less time to myself. Odd I know, but when I worked It was 9 times out of 10 only me there and so I had time to do the little stuff like update a blog. I am now much happier playing with my kids, although I'm not sure the house is any cleaner but that's another story.

Well Tons of stuff has happened since Sept.

For Jocelynn she is growing up quicker than I ever could have imagined. Potty Training is all most complete. She is quickly changing from a baby girl into a little girl. She loves to help clean, sweeping is her favorite. and she talks non-stop. She also is quite the little mommy, I constantly find her taking care of Zeke and her babies.

Zeke is getting big as well. He is begging to communicate ( i think Jocelynn talking helps). his potty training is on hold for a little bit. during Christmas break I'm gonna really buckle down with it. School is going good, but has been a little hattic, his teacher has been out on sick leave for the past 2 months. He has completed his occupational therapy and only has speech. Which is awesome that last time we only had one therapy a week was when he was 6 months old.

And that is what is happening here, not a whole lot. I probably wont post until after the new year. So Merry Christmas and have a Blessed New Year.

WHERE DID SUMMER GO??????????????

2009-09-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

Well the slow lazy days of summer are over. I'm not sure why they call it slow and lazy, it is anything but. And once again this summer was just toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo short. We sent Zeke back to school, and are settling into a routine with Jocelynn. I have been having trouble with my computer, and my cord to the camera is broken. So sorry for no resent pictures. Well back to summer being 2 short. Zeke just finished up his first year, and now he is already back at school. I miss him, I really wish that I would be able to home school him, but I know that preschool is the best for him. and he LOVES IT. he is always ready to go in the morning, and he is practically running out of the car when we arrive at school. I did opt to take him to and from school, they provide a bus, but my little guy is only 3. Zeke is doing so well in school, we are sending him all 5 days and he seems to be adjusting well to his schedule. Jocelynn is a STRONG WILLED CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very STRONG WILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not sure where she gets it from (i think it might be my dad though) but so independent. She loves climbing on EVERYTHING, and is really starting to blossom. They are both at such fun ages right now, but also at very trying ages.

A couple quick PRAISES.... Zeke's speech therapist re evaluated him today and told me that he had improved about a 12 month span.. she said that this is awesome because most kids with downs in a year only improves 9 months. if that makes any since to you, basically Zeke is above what most kids with DS do. Zeke's communication has been very frustrating for me this past month or so and so it was great to hear. Another Praise is a couple of weeks ago Zeke's ears started to drain, this is common for Zeke, Usually I have to hold him down, him screaming and tossing and turning to clean his ears. Well this time he allowed me to clean his ears without so much as making a peep. Tonight Zeke cleaning out his own ears, which is AMAZING because he has NEVER let anyone touch his ears. I'm Praying that this means his ear canals are opening up to a normal size, which will mean better hearing for Zeke. (DS kids typically have small ear canals and trouble with hearing) God has really blessed Zeke. You and I might not always see the small things but God hasn't missed anything.

Update, and pictures soon I promise

2009-08-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

Well lots have happened in the past month. I am busier than ever, and don't see my life slowing down in the next few months. July was filled with stuff to do, we had Hungry's nieces stay with us for 3 weeks, we had camp meeting, went to a wedding, went to my family reunion, all this while potty training 2 kids.
Hungry's nieces were wonderful to have, they are such sweet girls and are always a big help with the kids. I enjoyed being able to make dinner without the crying at my feet. This year they stayed with us for 3 weeks, which was nice to be able to invest in there lives, because they live so far away we don't see them that often. They also really enjoyed going to church, seeing old friends and making some new friends. Carina the oldest of the 2 told me she was in awe of the present of God in youth group. It really made me stop and think of how blessed our church is. I know we hear it almost every time there is a guest speaker, but it was really personally to hear it from my niece. While they were here we went to the free movie, and the fair. I tried not to let them get to board:)
Camp Meeting was wonderful, I enjoyed helping in the nursery. I also received a much needed word from the Lord. "YET" isn't it amazing how simple of a word can change your out look on situations. I had been struggling with Zeke communication for a while, and God knew I needed a word. On of the speakers, had mentioned his special needs child and that he doesn't talk, but he didn't say he doesn't talk he said YET. a word that seems so simple, but it's meaning is very deep, that God isn't done, and God is still working. AMAZING.
They other main event is Potty Training, which we slacked off on some in July with everything that is going on. However, I am very pleased with how they are doing. Jocelynn is very close to being completely potty trained and Zeke is doing awesome too. My goal is for Jocelynn to be trained by mid fall and Zeke by winter.

August is already busy, Jocelynn celebrated her 2nd birthday on the 3rd. she is really turning into such a wonderful little girl. Richard and I celebrated our 5th anniversary. So much has happened in our lives that it often doesn't even fell like 5 years.

We are getting ready to send Zeke to school, and Jocelynn I am going to teach at home, I am going to volunteer in Zeke class each week, I miss my little boy and it breaks my heart that I'm unable to teach him at home, but I know that school is the best thing for him at this point in his life. I am excited to what he will be learning this year at school.

2009-07-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

Well it is very late and I should be in bed, but I'm not tired so I decided to blog. I'm actually up at my sister-in-laws right now. We can up to Chicago for the weekend for 2 reason: 1 celebrate the 4th with family. and 2: to pick up hungry's nieces who will be spending most of July with us.
Jocelynn and Zeke are doing good. Zeke said a very clear sentence tonight "I Pepsi yes please" every word 100% clear. I promised an update of the potty training. and I am proud to say that Joce and Zeke are doing awesome, Joce is almost potty trained I am impressed that she caught on so quickly, I expected her to be trained 1st but not so quickly. Zeke is doing wonderful too, he just doesn't seem to particularly care to learn. I think it is a boy thing. but I'm very pleased with both of them. It's a wonderful felling not to change diapers all day long. Not that I didn't enjoy that quality time with my children:) So Potty training while going on a trip, yah that's something every parent should avoid if possible. LOL. we chose not to stop every 20 min. so i figured i would just change them when we did stop. well. no so much we stopped at a rest stop and jocelynn tells me she has to go potty so i get the potty chair out. set it up in are van and i'm standing at the door to provide some type of modesty for my child. I was actually shocked because she had stayed dry the entire 3 hours or so on the road, when she had a big cup of orange juice right before we left. she actually stayed in the same pull up all day :) :) :) so then zeke decides he has to go. and he was sitting nicely until he sees a doggy and begins to jump up. this whole time i'm thinking please don't get pee on my van. well we made it without any accidents to the van. thankfully, but i'm sure it was quite a site if someone was watching me try to get 2 little ones to use the potty, and get back into their seats in a van that is packed with luggage and stuff. anyway. i have no another reason to say i like my van potty training :)

no more holes

2009-06-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

What a week............................. first. I promised to post new pics soon.... now to my week. this has been one of the hardest weeks I have had in quite a long time. Not one particular thing, just one of those weeks where everything comes crashing down all at once. But I didn't get on here to talk about my hard week. No I got on here to say how GREAT of a God we serve. As most of you know Zeke was born with a 2 holes in his heart. The first which was minor closed shortly after birth. The second was followed closely by a doctor. At each appt, we were told keep a close eye on Zeke, and if any chances let them know, and that at the next appt, they would decided if surgery needed to be an option. Well today Zeke's appt. came, I felt a peace with this appt unlike the one's before. Turns out the hole, has completely closed on its own. The dr. actually said that it is either closed or no bigger then the size of the tip of a pin. I however know the God the we serve, he doesn't do have the job, he does the whole job. God closed the hole in his heart, and Zeke we discharged from the cardiologist, and the dr said we do not need to see him anymore. PRAISE GOD we serve a GREAT GOD.
to put it in Zeke's terms: When he was born, his heart didn't grow all the way and there were some holes, but Jesus picked up his crayon and colored it in and made it all better.

I wonder if there are some holes in our hearts that we need Jesus to color in???????????????

Jesus Calling - 33 Miles

2009-06-17T13:35:00.001-07:00

2009-06-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

I finally have the kids asleep for a nap, they both curled up next to me on the couch and we right to sleep. This hasn't happen in a while. Speaking of a while. it has been ages since i posted last. LOTS have happened. I am now officially a SAHM. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I love every second of it. as most of you know, Helen has been having some health issues and I needed to stay home to be able to stay home to devote more time and energy towards her and the kids needs. Please keep her in your prayers as we are still not completely sure what is going on. But God is Good and will see her and our family through. On a better note. The kids are getting big. in fact I am convinced that I have twins. In fact there are some days when I can't believe that they aren't twins. Yes the terrible twos are here in full force. but it isn't all that bad, as stressful as it is, there are many laughs and many more wonderful times. Sleeping in there beds, is hit and miss. it is hard at times with it being light out to get them in bed at a descent time but Joce usually calms down by 9 and Zeke was doing that until this past week when he has been up until almost 11. Yikes. it's summer right. Potty training is going pretty well. When we are consistent the kids do great. I got the idea of a potty timer from a friend (thanks Sara) and it works great, although sometimes I have to carry them to the potty (it's hard to stop playing with that toy). Jocelynn is still hit and miss sometimes she does great other times she does care. But I am ok with at being she isn't even 2 yet. Zeke is doing wonderful, I am more forceful with him, since he is older and is very stubborn if it were up to him, I'm sure he would be in diapers until he was 10. But I'm very impressed with how well he is doing. Here are the other updates on the kids:
JOCELYNN- a 2 year old terror inside, a pretty princess outside. She keeps me running. Joce is getting to be very smart, and her personality is really starting to show, she is talking more than ever. Still very shy, she lights up the room. Her newest things to do is be mommies helper in everything and I mean EVERYTHING, and she loves to brush her hair and paint her nails and do that girly stuff :)
ZEKE- what really can I say about Zeke, he is one stubborn little kid, but so loveable and hugable. He had his last of a preschool earlier this week. which was more sad for me than it was for him each year just means he is getting older and less and less a baby :(. He is doing great, becoming very verbal . He is all boy, a very different side than my little princess. He still loves horses and now has discover a love for trains. :)
Richard and I are doing great, some weeks literally juggling dr, therapy, shopping, kids and housework. at the end of the day we really do love our life and all the stress.

Do you wish there was a cure?

2009-05-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago someone asked me if I wished there was a cure for Down Syndrome? I didn't really know what to say. It had been the first time I was approached with such a question, and I think I was a little in shock. It will be 4 years in the fall, since DS was first mentioned, and It has been a very long 4 years: questioning God, his plan, myself, life, searching and seeking. I'm a slow learner apparently and God has been very patient with me. I had heard of others being asked this question and I always thought of how rude of a question it was. However the lady who asked me, wasn't trying to be rude, she was just trying to get a better understanding of DS. I know my answer right away was no, but why? was what I couldn't answer. I had to think about it. It wasn't one of those reasoning you come to right away, Because I did wish that there was a cure for the medical conditions that comes along with DS. However DS is a part of him. We don't go around asking for a cure because of the color of our skin or hair, and that is what we would be doing if we asked for a cure for the extra chromosome that God placed in his DNA. NO it isn't easy watching him sometimes, but the victories are even more sweeter. And If he was just like all the other kids, than what would make him special? I read a blog today that made me think about this, It was more on to say that Zeke is a kid first and has DS, Zeke isn't a downs kid. Which I agree, we don't say that red kid referring to a child with red hair, we say that kid with red hair. So that's my vent for today. Zeke is a person first but with DS (I say this very proudly), and No I do not which that there was a cure.
By the way God has taken care of the medical stuff :)

LOOK AT ME

2009-05-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

So this blog is short and sweet but Zeke said a sentence the other day so clearly I'm still beeming :) While at Mc D's in the play land. He was playing and said LOOK AT ME. I was so proud. It is amazing how much God has touched Zeke in his life. and It amazes me at how much he is being to talk. I must admit, I still get discouraged at times about his speech and language development. So I was Amazed to hear him say a sentence. :)

2009-05-07T06:51:00.000-07:00

OK so I think I have been out of the planet for the last month. I have just been so busy, the kids came down with yet another ear infection, and it has just seemed like one day flows into the next and before i know it weeks have passed. We really haven't been up to a whole lot, just everyday stuff that seems at times to weight you down. And I think that all this rain has just made the days seem longer. So I finally got rid of my ant problem and then i have to pull my carpet up in my kitchen. Somehow are kitchen sink had been leaking, running down under the cabinets and soaking up thur the carpet in our dinning room. Sure not 100% on how it was leaking, but we figured it has been going on for a while. Thankfully we had wood floors under the carpet so, it is a quick fix for a little bit until we have the time to redo the floors. I was actually surprised at how well the floor looked and the kids just think it a whole new room to play in. So I spent Saturday at my moms with the kids, while Hungry, my brother and my dad ripped out carpet. Monday we spent up at Riley. This is a normal occurrence for us, as Zeke is getting older we are trying to put more appts in one day. So we don't have to go up there quiet as often. He is getting to the point where it is only checkups now, but it can still make for a long day. So 1st was the DS checkup, which is only once a year. They asked how he was doing and if we had any concerns. They also sent us for an X-Ray and blood work. The X-Ray was to check his neck, to make sure that his spine was aligned properly and their wasn't to much pressure on his spine. This is very rare, but kids who have this can't do certain sports. The blood work was his normal thyroid test and we asked them to do a sugar level test because we have had some concerns. I am still waiting the results of the test but I am sure they will be normal I will keep you posted. Afterwards we had the Dentist appt for the kids. Zeke has been once before (we keep all his appts at Riley for medical reasons) and because Dr. Julie is the best we decided to take Jocelynn there as well. The Dentist went great, we had the usual crying but no cavities :) I gave myself a pat on the back. Afterwards we had planned to go to Chuck e' Cheese for a treat. The kids loved it. and Hungry and I had fun to. the Pizza not good at all, but I personally like the game where you feed the dog. There was hardly anyone there so we had the whole place to ourselves which was nice and really had a great time with the kids.
On a new note POTTY TRAINING has begun YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Jocelynn started telling us a few weeks ago that she was going pee pee and going to the bathroom so we went out a brought her a potty chair; Zeke is slowly catching on to go in the potty and not the floor (boys) and after some fighting over the froggy chair (we already had one for Zeke) we brought another chair. So Zeke and Jocelynn our slowly learning, they have there days but I'm sure by the end of the summer we will be close to mastering the potty. on a BIGGER note Jocelynn intentionally went poop on the potty 2x yesterday :):):):) once at home and once at church. I was so proud of my little girl.
and here are my Thursday Thankfuls
1. For living in this Nation (even though my heart is grieved by the reactions of our leaders towards National Day of Prayer)
2. For a fenced in back yard
3. For my job, even though at times I hate it, I'm thankful for it.
4. My two wonderful children, who make every day brighter with there smiles.
5. My family and friends
6. The warm weather and birds singing.
7. A wonderful husband, whole always loves and supports me.
8. A very comfortable couch that makes being up with a teething baby and sleeping cuddle on the couch that much more enjoyable.
9. Zeke having Down Syndrome, I wouldn't have it any other way, he doesn't need cured God made him in his perfection
10. Jehovah- my savior, my provider, my shelter, my rock, my comforter, hes my everything and my all in all.

Have a Great Day everyone.

Ice Cream for Dinner

2009-04-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

Ok so if it sounds like you heard it before I did steal it from Jon and Kate plus 8. Last summer in one of their shows they talked about doing Ice Cream for dinner once a year. I thought this was a great family thing to do and I'm always looking for fun memories for my kids to grow up with. So we took advantage of this awesome weather to do some fun outside things with the kids. Saturday morning we got an early start and did all of our things we had to get out of the way, shopping, post office. So it started with a pic-nic in the park. The kids loved this, It was beautiful weather and anytime we are at the park the kids love it. Afterwards we took a break and went to walmart, we didn't really need to buy anything just went to walk around and let the kids rest. Then it was off to the ice cream. We went to Green Acres, for the reason that they have a little play ground on their property and the best part of it was it is fenced in. Which really allowed me to be able to relax and just enjoy them playing, without constantly making sure they haven't wonder off to the street. We then returned home to watch a movie and have some popcorn. We watched Yes Man and just to let you know if you haven't seen it your not missing much. All in All it was a great day. No granted we don't have Ice Cream for Dinner every night, but once or twice a year is ok. Oh Green Acres also has something there called funnel fries. TRY THEM they are like eating heaven. So that was my awesome Saturday.

Reasoning with a 2 year old.

2009-04-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

OK so all of my life I has always been that you cannot and should not reason with a toddler. Well last night I think I changed my out look. just a little. As we were leaving church I buckled Zeke in his car seat and then went to do the same with Jocelynn. Jocelynn has been in a stage now for a while where she doesn't like being buckled in. So it usually ends with her being forced in and buckled up well last night. Same as always I told her to sit or she would be spanked. didn't work. So I took out sat her on my lap and very kindly explained that she could choose to be a good girl and sit nicely to be buckled or she could choose to not listen and be spanked that the choice was hers. This somehow did a miracle because she sat right in her seat and let me buckle her up. No fussing. I was amazed and wonder if my strong willed child maybe needs to fell like she is making that choice. I've been pondering this all morning. Before when I was on the outside looking in I would say, just make them do it. But now that I'm on the inside I'm just not sure. Any thoughts. If explaining to her the result first has less problems than I might just be that parent who reasons with there 2 year old. Now of course she will be expected to listen and behave. We will see.

I Will Rise - Chris Tomlin [with lyrics]

2009-04-08T05:39:00.001-07:00

Sometimes Mom's Need Naps Too

2009-03-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

OK so after ranting and raving yesterday. I thought I would comment about how the kids and I had an awesome day today. After we got home this afternoon the kids were asleep, which meant I actually was able to finish a meal, still hot might I add. And because Richard was going to work, I decided to take the opportunity to take a NAP. I awoke to happy kids awake next to me, actually Jocelynn was banging an empty cup on the floor. and Zeke was staring over me. So after some Coffee, we had snack (Grapes which are on sale at Kroger for 97 cents a pound and they are huge) we played with Lego's, colored, watch Cars. and Just had a blast wrestling on the floor with them. Dinner they actually cleared there plates. and then we played until bath and bedtime. we also read. It was actually a Wonderful day even though it was nasty outside. It is amazing how something as simple as a NAP can make all the difference in the world. :) Oh the kids also did laundry, they love putting the clothes in the washer, and the drier, they haven't yet got the folding down yet but can you blame them. :)

Cabin Fever

2009-03-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

OK. so I am tributing the past week to cabin fever. My kids really need to go outside and play. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to blog, but I really, really, really, really, really need to let off some steam. Hungry and I have been at each other necks lately, the kids haven't been wanting to take a nap, my house gets dirtier as I clean (OK i might be over stating this a little). We are still using one car. and the dishes and laundry at skipped doubling and just went to tripling. Spring were are you. OK so I fell a little better :) Lets move on to more fun info. I have with a lot of you started couponing, I forced us to follow a budget, and It seems to be working, We are spending our more wisely. We haven't used a debit card in more then 3 weeks now, And I couldn't be happier. I honestly never thought I would say this but the debit card was driving us into debt. Our problem was spending first then adding it up later. So here's what I did. I set a certain amount each week for gas/food/extra and I take that money out in cash. I then separate it, into its group. Then if the money is gone for that week, we are done spending. This has really helped in our budget, and I find that I am buying less and saving more:) Saturday we went up to Plainfield to do some shopping for the kids, and AMBER I love Target, I've found some nice sales there before, but Saturday there summer separates are $4, that isn't the sale price either :) As for sleeping arrangements, Zeke is going to bed quite nicely, he lays down on his own and is usually asleep within 10 mins, He is still coming to our bed in the middle of the night, but slowly this will stop. As for Joce she is going to sleep, at about the same time, only I decided that she is still to little to be moved out of my bed. I know, I know she shouldn't be in my bed, but she is only little once, and I'm just not ready to fight her yet after all Zeke is 3 but Joce is still only 20months. So that is that. We are hoping to get some more days in soon where we can be outside, as for Richard and I we have worked everything out after a long car ride home. And the kids well they are 2 what do you expect. As for me I'm going to be working on my seals for JBQ along with some other coaches, we figure if the kids can do it so can we.

Bragging on Zeke

2009-03-16T20:31:00.001-07:00

So both the kids are finally better:) we are finishing up on the medicine and besides the nasty diaper rash that they both seem to get from the medicine they are back to there normal self. Well this means that Zeke was finally able to return to school. His schooling is doing great. It is working out wonderful he enjoys going. The other day, I'm not sure what I was doing but I was saying the alphabet as I randomly do throughout the day and Zeke began saying it with me. He actually said A-G. I was so excited. He also can count to 3. And is now eating his whole meal with a spoon/fork. We went out to eat they other day, and I was so proud I wanted to stop everyone in the restaurant and tell them my son just ate a meal with his spoon. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, however IT IS. It isn't easy watching him work so much harder at stuff then what other kids work. or seeing younger kids including his sister do stuff with much ease and watch him have a hard time at the same task. So I was the PROUDEST mom in the world the other night at dinner. To hear him say the alphabet, count and eat with his spoon. And what was even more important was that he knew that he had accomplished the task. It is wonderful watching him blossom and grow into what God has chosen for him.
Not to leave out number 2 as she is sometimes referred to as. Joce is doing great, becoming very independent, and very much testing her boundaries. Her new thing is hitting, especially mommy. I'm not sure where she picked this up from but it HAS to stop. It is driving me nuts. (go ahead and laugh all of you wow have been there Zeke never did this) She loves to help me do everything and she will often help Zeke. I love the fact that both of them will take care of the others need before themselves. Joce has also been off the paci for almost a month now and is has increased her talking.
Ok now for sleeping arrangements, after a month on the couch and being kicked. I have decided that the kids need to be out of my bed. So I decided to start a new bed time routine that involves going to sleep with out a sippy cup and in there own bed room. Tonight it took an hour to get them to sleep and I honestly thought it would take longer. I will keep you updated. I'm determined that they will stay in there beds this time. I just help, I have enough energy in the middle of the night to make sure they stay in there bed. As for me, It's late I'm getting tired and I'm going to bed.

2009-03-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 6 (New International Version)
Love the LORD Your God 1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you.
4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
13 Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. 14 Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15 for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. 16 Do not test the LORD your God as you did at Massah. 17 Be sure to keep the commands of the LORD your God and the stipulations and decrees he has given you. 18 Do what is right and good in the LORD's sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers, 19 thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the LORD said.
20 In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" 21 tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. 22 Before our eyes the LORD sent miraculous signs and wonders—great and terrible—upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. 23 But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers. 24 The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. 25 And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness."

The Sick bug didn't get the memo.

2009-03-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

Well, the sick bug didn't get the memo. That I am not allowed to be sick. I'm not allowed to have the flu, a cold and fever or anything. I don't have time to be sick, and It just doesn't work into my schedule. I thought that was pretty clear. However not to the flu/sick bug. Thursday I woke up with a sore thoart. and thought out the day just felt worse and worse. basically I've been sick sense then. So today, the kids went to church and I am home listing to it online hoping to get some rest. However rule of nature, when you have the hours to rest and sleep, you aren't tired. Thankfully I am able to hear the service online. This is a huge blessing, that even when I'm not well to be in service I can still hear what God has for the service.
On a more positiver note. Jocelynn has given up the pacy :). This was cold turkey, she went all day Wed with out it, and I figured sense she did so well without she didn't need it. I was nervous about bedtime, however she didn't do bad. It is now going on 5 days. and she is doing great. I am also confident that she will begin talking more with out it. Zeke is doing wonderful in school, he really likes it. It's hard because he can't really tell me what he did in school, so even are conversations about what he did in school, I still left to guess what he did. However, he is very excited about the pictures he colors and will talk for hours about it.
Also a small prayer request, Communication with Zeke is very frustrating lately. I am often finding myself and Zeke being frustrated, because I'm not sure what he wants, and he isn't getting what he wants. So just pray that communication will become a little easier with Zeke.
well I'm gonna get off of here. Pastor is almost finished with offering. So I'm gonna listen to the sermon. and Hopefully I will be well soon.

2009-02-23T06:03:00.001-08:00

February has been an insanely long month. Which is ironic since it is the shortest month. Jocelynn has been teething this whole month. Up every 2 to 3 hours. at night. Ending up on the couch. Zeke began preschool. of which he is doing wonderful. Richard had a tooth pulled and is still in a lot of pain. Zeke had an ear infection. Jocelynn and Zeke both were sick from Wed to Sat this past week. And I am doing everything I can not to go insane. I am Sick with my kids/family being sick. I'm sure all of you reading feel the same way. So things are finally calming down a little. I go to drop Zeke of at school and he starts to cry. Now if you know Zeke you know that this is just out of character for him. Which doesn't make me fell good about leaving him. so I park my car and go into the school with him. He stopped crying but you could tell that he just wasn't his normal joyful self. So here I am it's 9:15 and I am worn out. Physically, Emotionally, Mentally. You know those moments that you which you could escape to a remote beach where the only thing to worry about is getting too much sun. YEP this is one of those moments. with my family of course. And to top things of its just COLD outside.
Well I'm trying to mention all negative things. I'm just so ready for spring and warm weather and children who are well and want to play outside. This has been one LONG winter.
On a positive note: Zeke turned 3, Jocelynn has mastered climbing on just about everything and can open up my pantry cabinets. Zeke is doing a lot more talking, and is slowly not running away from me every second (Hallelujah). and Gas is still down.
So I'm ready for Spring, I'm sick of my kids/family being Sick. February has been very long. and God loves you.

Pre-School here Zeke comes

2009-02-14T19:12:00.001-08:00

Well. Zeke started Pre-School. I can't believe that on thursday he will be 3. it just doesn't seem possible and yet when i look at the long roller coaster. I am beyond thankful of how God has kept him healthy, God has done so much for him in 3 short years at times it seems longer. So my little baby started school. A sad and exciting day all rolled into one. He did GREAT. I however started to cry, and then stopped because i didn't want it to upset Zeke. I also checked in on him, although he didn't need me, he was sitting nicely on a chair and then went to help the teacher. I'm sure he will do good, and he already has a girl friend. but it breaks my heart for me that Zeke is becoming a big boy. and at the same moment i'm over joyed at his independence. I enjoy the little stuff, like wanting to use a big fork and eating all of his dinner with that fork, or how hard he tries to make mr. potato hear even if the parts are never close to where they be long. So Zeke is scheudled to go on Mon, Tues and Thurs. although it isn't only a couple hours in the morning this will give jocelynn and daddy some good one on one time. My boss was also kind enough to let me move my schedule around so i could take zeke to school. I will post pictures soon. As for Jocelynn she is doing g0od. everyday is a new adventure for her, finding something to get into, trying to be sneaky. She is at a really fun age. Life is so simple at that age. Her biggest concern of the day is if Zeke is going to still her snack. You have got to love simplicity. Anyway It's late and I'm tired. I just wanted to share about Zeke's 1st day of school.

Growing up befor my eyes

2009-01-20T05:44:00.000-08:00

It happened. I blinked and Jocelynn grew up. Her new thing is to climb up on the chair all by herself. and once up she just sits there so nicely at the table. So as I was cleaning up in the kitchen I looked over to see what looked like a little girl trying to slide off the chair as not to fall, just as you might find a 3 or 4 year old doing who isn't quite tall enough to reach the ground. At this I almost cried. My baby girl shouldn't be big enough to do such grown up things. I marvel at all the accomplishments, but it saddens me that she is no longer 2 or 3 months old needing me for every thing.
Last night while in the tub no the less, we had a break through. Zeke stood up and started saying juice, juice (his new word along with hat). I looked only to find poop in the tube (Yuck). But the fact that he recognized he had pooped and then sat on the potty was AMAZING. Later, after starting to pee. He also sat on the potty. I was so proud of my little boy. Now just as long as I can get him to stay on the potty long enough to use.
Although I am so thankful for everyday I have to spend with them while they are young.

Its time I brag on the kids

2009-01-19T07:32:00.000-08:00

Things in the Contreras house are same as ever not to much excitment, but full of laughter. I haven't blogged in a while and I thought it was time to brag on the kiddos. The other day Joce and I were laying on the coach and I asked him if he would go into the play room and get sissy a dolly, I was intrested to see if he would follow though or get distracted. After disappearing out of sight, moments later he came back with a doll and brought it to sissy. Of course we made a big deal about him being a big boy and how nice he was. He then went back into the playroom and returned with another doll. and another and another. Until all of the dolls were on my lap. This was adorable, I was so proud that not only did he follow my direction, but he but his sissy first and got her something. I see this alot in my kids, and as a mother it makes me fell good to know that I am doing something right. I'm reminded of when in the bible after Jesus's birth it talks about how mary pounder these things in her heart. I never completely understood it until I became a mother. It isn't just the big things that your kids do but the little things as well, Joce and Zeke what ever it is, sharing giving kisses, giving eachother there sippy cup, It makes me fell good to know that I'm raising them to care about one another. Zeke is continuing to do good in his therapies and making improvements. This week we will take him for his evaluation for preschool. I big transition in our home. Joce is doing new stuff everyday, She now knows where her belly is and loves for it to be tickled and has mastered going up and down our steps. As always they love helping mommy fold clothes and do dishes. And are the cutes dancers ever.

2009-01-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how quickly this year has flown by. It really does seem like yesterday I was typing about how 2007 had went by and now It's already 2009. Christmas was a very merry one in our house. It is always a beautiful time of year. The kids woke up at 5:30 which for that week was actually sleeping in. and we had a wonderful time opening presents and being with each other. It was a wonderful couple of days ( Christmas last for several days in this house). And this year I especially enjoyed just spend time with my kids. I had worked at the clinic in the morning and then picked up some hours at Dakota in the evening. So I was ready to spend some much needed quality time with my family. As usual the Contreras' came down for Christmas on Saturday and we had a wonderful time eating, singing and just spending time with everyone. We still have one more Christmas to do. and that is back to my parents. this year we are doing 2 with them on Christmas it was mainly for the kids. and we will celebrate it in another week when my brother comes back for Cali. This was actually the first year that we weren't all (all 8 of us) weren't together for the holidays.

I can't really say much for New Years I fell asleep at around 10:30. We were planning to have friends over to ring in the new year but Zeke unfortunately became ill. He started to run a fever on Tuesday night and the fever didn't break until Wed night. It was only being controlled by Morton. I hate when my kids are sick. So Wed morning I called and they where able to get him into the Dr. right away. I suppected it was only an ear infection, but you never know.

Zeke's Dr. appointments are always a little unnerving for me, even just the checkups. There is so much that might go wrong, or something they have to test for. there is alot of stress. I don't try to think about these things, however they seem to be on the back of my mind, and although I hand all of Zeke medical issues over to God and know that he is in control. the Dr.s is never a fun trip for me. Well this appointment was no other. I had a felling that the Dr. would want to do some test but had a peace about it. I am thankful for a very throe Dr., and would rather know then find out about something when it is to late. Zeke is still not felling well, and we see the Dr. she confrims that it is a ear infection, but would like to do a blood test, he had a wrash and was worried of Leukemia (which is highly found in DS kids). So as I'm preparing myself for this. Thinking we would have the blood test and find out in a few days. The come in and drawl his blood. which was fun. They had trouble finding a vein, they had to try both arms 2x because he was alittle dehydrated. Finally after what i'm sure was about 15-20mins they drew his blood. And said I would have the results in a few min. These were very long mins. Although Zeke's health is in God's hands my mind was wondering a million miles a minute in every way. Unless in the situation, it is hard to describe. I'm believing for the best. praying and my hope is in the Lord, at the same time wondering what if? The results were in PRAISE GOD ZEKE IS PERFECTLY fine. I knew all along that he would be fine, but until the results came back I was very concerrned. So off we went to the drug store to get some med. Zeke is doing better know. and Hopefully this ear infection will leave and he will get back to his normal self. Anyway that was my new years Praise that once again God showed me that he is in control and His might hand that rules over all also protects, and watches over even the litlle ones.

on New Years Day we had our pj day. however this year we did get dressed about 3:30 to go down to my moms. It is wonderful to start the New Year off with family, and Just take is easy. We all took a nap at around 11 and just did nothing. It's nice to do that every once in a while and play with the kids.

Well as far as new years revolutions go, I'm actually am making some this year. but not just for me but for our family. Our famiy ones are pretty simple: eat healthier, safe and be more wise with money, grow spirtually. As for me I am going to get into shape and lose weight, as long with some more which also include to become more oragnized, grow more spiritually, and be more attentive to my husband ad kids.

That's all for now. i will post pix as soon as i can as for now I wish you all a very blessed new year

2008-12-29T05:31:00.001-08:00

I hope to add a longer post. in the next few days. but for now Merry Christmas ( i know it was a couple days ago) and Happy New Year

2008-11-25T14:58:00.000-08:00

As Thanksgiving nears, There are many thoughts that run through my mind. I love Thanksgiving, as it marks the begging of Christmas. 2 of my favorite holidays. I love the dinner, the family that we get to see, watching the parade with my children, baking, and just having a wonderful time. As the holidays near, I find my self getting wrapped up in the shopping and the cooking, It seems like there are plans every day of the week and very little time to stop and reflect. So I decided to start this Holiday season off by giving thanks.

I'm thankful for my salvation, and the freedom I have to worship God.

I'm thankful for living in a free country.

I'm thankful for my job and for my husbands job.

I'm thankful for my family. My In laws, brothers and sisters, parents.

I'm thankful for my wonderful Husband

I'm thankful for Zeke, for God's hand on his life, for his health, and for the wonderful boy he is growing in too.

I'm thankful for Jocelynn, such a beautiful little girl, with so much life and energy, every day is exciting and holds new adventures.

I'm thankful for my health.

I'm thankful for God's protection over my life, for guiding me through the foggy times, and for caring me through the times that seemed to be pitch black in my life.

I'm thankful for God's provision for my life, even on weeks that my check book is zeroed out, God has given me so much, and has always been my provided for me.

And I'm thankful for my Life. It is a good life and I couldn't imagine it any better.

Here is on of my favorite scriptures, I have known this since I was 7 and in Primes class. The scripture always seems to fit in any situation.

Psalms 100

1Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
2Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
3Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
4Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
5For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Is God in the drivers seat, with out the keys?

2008-11-13T19:45:00.000-08:00

When Zeke was born I thought God was punching me. I felt that I had done something so horrible in my life, that I would have to pay with the rest of my life. I built up walls, I focused on the negative, I was convinced it was a curse on my life. Then one day I realized that God had in fact given me not a punishment but a gift. In fact so wonderful; that only a handful of people have been given this gift.

To raise a son with special needs is a task, that I would have never volunteered for. When Richard and I decided to have children, I didn't go to the thrown room of God and ask "Now, Lord, I don't want just any child, I want my child to come with health concerns. I want to have therapist at my house 3 times a week, and the other two I want to spend at the doctors. Oh, yah and Lord I don't want him to talk or walk until he is 2 or 3" That was not my request, in fact I know of absolutely no one that would ask such a thing. I wanted what everyone wants a healthy baby. I pleaded with God to touch his heart, after all HE is a healing God and wasn't this little one inside of me God's child.

Isn't it funny how we believe that God is a God of accuracy and does everything in his own way and timing. However we as humans expect God to act the very second and in the very way we have chosen. Have we really allowed for God to control the situation, or are we just letting him sit in the drives seat, but have not handed over the keys to our life's?

So here I am convinced that my life was doomed, until I realized that if I handed God the keys and allow Him to do the driving. I could sit back and enjoy the ride. If I left the worrying up to Jesus, then my focus could be on more important things: like encouraging Zeke to do stuff on his own, and being able to look past his condition into the eyes of a wonderful child. Not someone "Labeled" by the world, but and ordinary 2 year old.

So on the days that I look at Zeke and only see a condition. I have to remind myself that God is already in the drivers seat, I just need to hand over the keys. It is then and only then, that I am able to see just how much God loves me by giving me such a wonderful gift: ZEKE.

2008-11-13T19:04:00.001-08:00

So it has been a while since, my last post. Well nothing to exciting has happened here. In fact I can't really think of anything that has happened here. However I did want to post a few new pics.

Picture 1: Zeke and Jocelynn playing. Picture 2: Daddy and Sissy Playing. Picture 3: Jocelynn and Maggie (my parents dog) taking a nap together. Picture 4 and 5: Halloween Zeke was a dragon and Jocelynn was a strawberry. Picture 6: Joce hanging upside down. Picture 7 and 8 Joce first pony tail. Picture 9 and 10 Zeke smiling at the camera.

2008-10-14T05:18:00.000-07:00

Ok. So last night I went to up to Indy for a ministers conference and hear is something I wanted to share with you. I know I might be a little slow for making this connections. Did you know that the purpose of salt is to make people thirsty? Are you thirst creators? Do people want what you have? How salty are you or have your life lost its saltiness? Do people look at your life and see your faith though trials and adversity, or do they only see your faith when all is going good?

Matthew 5:13-17

13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

2008-10-13T05:52:00.000-07:00

Ok. So after months, of working all the time and spending the rest of the time at home. We finally did something. Amazing I know. As I think all of you know this weekend was the start of coverbridge. So of course Friday, after doing some house work (laundry, dishes, the norm) We loaded up the kids and went with my family to Bridgeton. This was an especially nice trip, because my entire family minus dad and chris who were at work was able to go. We had a blast. It was crowed. But the weather couldn't have been any better. We just walked around, and enjoyed the chance to be outside and enjoying each other. After spending some time at my parents we returned home and went to bed at about 10 which is early for us. Saturday was once again another big day for us. THE BUDDY WALK. We look forward to this every year, we know very few with DS around Terre Haute, so it is important to us to try as mush as possible to let Zeke get involved with other children who has Down Syndrome. It seems like every year, God uses the Walk to remind me just how wonderful having DS can be, and this year was no different. Towards the end of the walk I noticed that there was a couple in front of us. No big deal right, that was until I realized that they both had DS. As a parent of a special needs kid this is something that breaks my heart, if they will ever find anyone. But this couple was so sweet, they were talking to each other, about issues that you and I would get board with quickly. The were kind to one another and encouraging toward each other. Sadly they were what me and my husband should be and are not most the time. It touched my heart to know that God, hadn't forgot about there desires for someone, but had someone for them that was able to relate on there own level. And this couple seemed to be very high function. I know Zeke is years away from dating. but It was a nice reminder that God didn't just give him an extra chromosome, he gave him a purpose and a plan for his life to.
After the buddy walk. we decided to go and walk around metropolis with the kids, we went out to eat and did some shopping. It was another BEAUTIFUL day, and I was so thankful to have it to share with my family. after shopping and ice cream, we decided to take 40 back to TH for a change of sensory. It was a nice drive, I love the leaves changing colors in the fall. By the time we got home the kids were sound asleep and that gave Richard and I a change to spend together. Watching Cops go figure. So this brings me to Sunday, This was kind of a sad day. My brother Jeremiah My little middle brother. Is joining the marines. So He will be off to basic training for the next 3 months, meaning he will miss thanksgiving, his birthday, and Christmas. We are big on the Birthdays, and this will be the first Thanksgiving or Christmas with one of us away. So we had a get together yesterday to spend with him. It was nice to get some time with him. But i'm proud of him and think that he will do really well.
So after such a long weekend you would think that one would want to take it easy today right, wrong. This day is for me and daddy, we have had it planned for a while that we were going up to Indy to a pastor's convention (Judah and the band is playing) and my mom is gonna take the kids. Well last night we decided since we are driving up there alone we are going to go see FireProof. I'm excited to see it. So my busy day will be followed by getting home very very late. and work in the morning.

Zeke praise report: Hearing test: all 3 they did in both ears where positive. We have never had a positive reading always a negetive or inconclusive. So I was thrilled with the results. Also his physical therapist said that he doesn't need to wear his braces anymore. PRAISE THE LORD.

Jocelynn is doing wonderful and is more beautiful then ever.

I will post pix soon.

2008-09-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

So my little sunshine is walking now. I don't fell that she is little anymore, such a big Girl. Zeke is doing great and so are the rest of us. Nothing is happening, but I figured I should let everyone know I haven't fallen completely of the face of the earth. Just busy doing life. Not much of anything, but enough to leave me exhausted at the end of the day. Laundry is calling my name so Hopefully I will be able to get on here later and post some real stuff.

2008-08-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

2008-08-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

000

2008-08-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe that it is already August. Where did July go. Sorry for not posting anything lately. Every time I tried to post a blog, the kids usually Jocelynn would come and turn off the computer. Eventually I just gave up. So lets start at the begging.

4th of July-- This was a different year for us, usually we have plans or go out of town, visit with family or friends, do a cookout. But not this year. It was just us, a new tradition, and we did nothing special. I wasn't sure how they would do with the fireworks. But to my surprise they both loved them. Friday night we went to the fair grounds (big disappointment). and Saturday we went to Brazil's which was very nice.

No more baba- In the beginning of the month we weened Jocelynn from the bottle. This was just as easy as Zeke's (neither of them seemed to miss it) Earlier than we had planned, but I am so glad I no longer have to clean bottles. When we were out on night I forgot to pack it, and we were out fr the following two nights so I just asume since she did with out it the night before, she didn't need it that night. She only cried on night for it, but by the time we got home, she had long fell asleep.

Visiting the Animals- During the fair this year, we decided to meet Zeke's ST (speech therapist) at the fair grounds, to go and see the animals. Zeke as a recently discovered love for all animals ( i think he would walk right up to a lion) He loved it. They even had a little petting zoo. Which both Jocelynn and Zeke loved. They both went right up and petted the animals, which I was a little surprised at.

Backyard Bounce- When WBGL came to Terre Haute, we thought we would go see what it was all about (and the FREE part ) So we went to the park which they both love. And Zeke loved the Moon bounce. I didn't think he would like it because He doesn't tend to do well on surfaces that aren't firm and solid. But he loved it, He just sat down and let the other kids bounce him.

Playing at home- Do to the heat, and gas, We have done alot of playing at home, the kids play so great together, It is so fun to watch them grow.

Birthday Girl- So my little Princess is now 1, It is so hard to believe that a year ago I had her, She has grown so much in the past year, not quite walking yet, but she will. We had a Birthday Party for her on Saturday, with family at the park. Due to the extreme HOT weather, it was a very quick party and the fact that Zeke kept crashing the cook out next to us. But it was fun and we had a blast, Jocelynn got lots of Clothes, and plenty of Toys (Thank you to everyone) On Sunday her actual Birthday, after Church we went out to eat, and then to Toys-r-us for her to get a toy. Nothing to special.

Signing Man- Zeke is doing wonderful, His ST reports that he is signing over 20 works he will even do some 2 work phrased. It is such a joy to see the progress he has made.

4 years- well today Richard and I are celebrating are anniversary. It is hard to believe that it has been 4 years and much we have been though, we plan to go out Saturday night and in September we are gonna take a romantic get-a-way( the sad part is the part I'm looking forward to the most is sleeping in and not being kicked all night long)

So that sums up what I have been doing this past month PICs are to follow.

2008-07-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

It has been way to long since I have updated. It's funny how quickly days go by. Does anyone else fell like an entire week has been laid out in one day, Or is it just me. Sometimes I get so use to the routine that I forget to stop and smell the roses. Thus I have Zeke and Jocelynn to help me take slower steps though out the day.

So these past couple of weeks, my nieces were staying with us. It went really well and they were a very big help. However, adding 2 more to a family of 5 is busy. But we managed and had a great time. We went to the park, where Zeke learned how to swing on the big swing all by himself. And hung out at my moms.

Work for me is going good, I'm starting to get the hang of things and am becoming more familiar with the way stuff goes. I really love my hours. God truly blessed me with such a great shift.

Richard is still on 3 to 11 :( but it works out that he can watch the kids in the morning. So even though we go most of the week without a face to face conversation, He gets to spend time with the kids. So Monday thru Thrusday get long, but we then appreciate each other more on the weekends. It works, well we make it work.

Zeke. WOW what a little man!!!!! He is becoming so indepenet e loves to do everything himself. The other day we were getting ready to leave and I asked if he wanted to put a new shirt on. I wasn't planning on changing him sense we were headed to grandma's and as I'm getting the bag ready he comes out of his room with a shirt as proud as can be. Of course I changed him and took a picture. I was one PROUD MOMMY. 2 yrs. old a funny, one day they can be the sweatiest things and the very next day they are so stubborn. OH i don't want to forget. PRAISE GOD. zeke was released from physical therapy (still wearing the braces a couple hours a day) and we went up to Riley and they were amazed at how well he was doing.

Jocelynn. What can I say about mommy's little princess. She hasn't been doing a whole lot of new lately. She has 2 teeth now and loves standing to play. She is also eating almost all table food and we are down to 1 bottle a day. We have moved her into a big girl car seat, which makes going somewhere alone fun (thus the puppy leash) but she is growing way to fast. I hard to think that this time last year I was begging the Dr. to induce me and know I'm wishing I had my newborn girl again. :(. But I'm thrilled at everything she does.

So as busy as I have been lately I've got very little to talk about. I'm off to bed and will post pictures later.

2008-06-12T18:09:00.001-07:00

Ok so Richard is at work, Helen is in her room, the kids are asleep on the couch. And for the first time this week i'm not tired at 9 o'clock and it is the only night I have the opportunity to go to bed early. Isn't it funny how life works like that. The moment you can do something, that you have been wanting to do for a while you don't want to. Like shopping, every time out wallet says no, the stores seem to have the greatest sales. But the second you get some extra money you can't find so much as a gumball that you want to buy. I have been yearning to go to bed early for so long, that tonight when I actually have the opportunity I'm filled with energy. Ok I have no clue where I was going with that it's a Thursday night so we all no that nothing good is on the TV. I don't have any kids to chase around, or read to, or change, or bath:( As nice as it is , and trust me I am enjoying the silence, I've gotten so us to children crying at my leg, that I don't know what to do.

Ok so enough rambling my new job is going pretty good, I like it. There is a really nice atmosphere, and I am starting to get the hang of it. We have the slow days and then the busy days where I'm working constantly, but so far so good. Although I do think the getting up at 6 will get old. But I enjoy learning new stuff, and the goal is to have me take over accounting and stuff and even though I have little to no experience in it, I think I will like it, I've always liked working with numbers. and the owners do most of it, I just get to do the logging stuff so we will see if I still like it in a few months. But I think I will.

BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG news in our house JOCELYNN HAS HER FIRST TOOTH. Ok for you all who think i'm nuts (even though you might be right) We will be talking about this for weeks. I thought Zeke didn't get his right away because of his down's but now I just figure my kids a meant to get them late, which means they will keep them longer. So when they are 70 they won't need dentures.

So that is all that has happened within the past couple of days. I will be sure to post pictures when I get a chance.

Oh I almost forgot, I was thinking I already blogged about this, but maybe i haven't EVEN BIGGER news in our house JOCELYNN IS WALKING WITH A PUSH WALKER TOY. This too we will talk about for weeks. we are so proud of her. and her brother to who can now say BELLY and it is so cute.

2008-06-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

Zeke after surgery.
Jocelynn being a tropper, after a long morning at Riley Hospital.

Zeke looking at the sea lions, he thought they where cool.
Jocelynn at the Zoo.
All worn out from a long day at the zoo.
Playing at Tia Michelle's house.

Zeke getting ready for surgery.

2008-06-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, these past 2 weeks have been anything but slow for us. A couple weekend's ago we visited with family up in Chicago. It was a really fun time for us just to sit back and relax. while we were up there we visited one of the local Zoo's and Zeke and Jocelynn both loved it. He did really well at the petting zoo where he stood next to a goat, I was so amazed :) usually he just clings to my neck for dear life. He and Little Sis loved all the animals, and we definitely plain on returning. It was a beautiful weekend. Jocelynn received a clean bill of health, at her check-up she is close to 19 lbs and she loves to pull up to a standing position. She is such a happy go lucky baby, and turning into a beautiful little girl. Zeke's braces came in for his feet ( to correct his webbed walking) and so that meant shoe shopping. Which usually no big deal right. Wrong, these suckers are so big that I had to buy him a size 9 shoe, and he wears a size 5. But they were on sale so I was happy. My 2nd youngest brother graduated from High school, That means there is only 2 left in school. Jeremiah has joined the Marines and will be going to basic training in the fall. and Finally today was the dreaded day of Zeke's surgery. HE DID GREAT PRAISE GOD! I was very nervous because with Zeke nothing seems to go easy. But God really gave me peace with the situation, Every one at Riley is so wonderful, and God even placed an anaesthesiologist who had a child with DS which made me fell better. After taking some work to wake him up for the drugs, he was smiling and talking to Sissy. He still is in some pain, but is doing wonderful. So now we just have to pray that these will open up his ears and he will become more Vocal. Thanks for all your prayers and support. Well tomorrow I start my new job, I am very nervous about it, but nothing more then the first day jitters and I sure I will like it. I'll let you know after a couple of days. Well her are so pics blogger is being retarted i will post them when i get a chance

2008-05-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't posted anything in a couple of weeks, so I thought I better give an update. The Kids are doing wonderful, Jocelynn is becoming quite the little eater and explorer, she is always on the go. In one room and out the other, before I can turn around. I forgot how much little ones get into soooooooooooooooo much. But it is so great watching her grow, in 2 more weeks she will be 10 months old. Wow time fly's. Zeke is doing great, he has been doing a lot of vocal play, which will help with him talking, and I think terrible two's aren't going anywhere. ATTITUDE. I know he is just seeing where he's boundaries are, but lets just say some days I'm ready to pull my hair out. Little going on, the summer will pick up. Friday we are leaving for Chicago, a fun weekend with food (GREAT FOOD), going to the zoo, visiting family and FOOD.

Last weekend, Hungry and I had a day out. We shipped the kids to my mom's and went out just the two of us. We went up to Plainfield, to shop and see a movie, then we enjoyed a nice, quiet dinner. It was a very nice, necessary trip. We have been so busy with life, that we needed to take time out just for us, to laugh and talk and enjoy one anther's company. Sadly something that we don't do enough.

Well that is what we have been up to these past couple of weeks.

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-08T17:51:00.000-07:00

Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.Chewed on.Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,

before I was a Mom.

2008-05-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

May has just begun, and yet again I'm wondering what happened to the first 4 months. It seems like the older I get the faster the days and months go by. Lately I haven't been busy, but my weeks just seem to flow into each other with no end, an ever loping circle. YUCK! One of these days I'm gonna step out of the circle and just breath. Well, if you haven't guessed it not much has been happening in our home lately. The kids are enjoying being able to play outside. and after all winter the fresh air is WONDERFUL. Jocelynn is mastering the crawl and being to pull up on things. Her new found love is Cheerios. Still no teeth but that isn't stopping her. Zeke is doing great with walking. We just fitted him for his braces, so hopefully they will be received within a week or two. (He walks with his feet outward, and the PT wants to fix it now so he won't have knee problems down the road, I'm sure he won't have to wear them long) He is also becoming more vocal, I think as Jocelynn talks more it is helping him. We are hoping for some job increases in the next few weeks, I will be leaving my beloved job to take on a secretary position and we are praying the Richard has the opportunity to become an apprentice, a huge step up. Other then that we are just living life to the fullest. Zeke has two appointments coming up, on is just a check-up towards the end of June (although it seems far away it will be here before we know it) The other is the surgery to put tubes in his ears, I try not to think about this one everyone assures me it will be fine, but me and surgery not good. Oh please keep Zeke in your prayers he has been spitting up lately, and if it continues he will need to go back on the medicine he was on in the fall. Oh i almost forgot, I got my mother's day gift early. It is a very nice Kodak easy share camera. I LOVE IT. My old camera broke so I really needed a new one, now I can start selling stuff on EBay and take lots of pictures of the kids:) So that is what is going on in our lives not much. Hopefully this summer will be fun, we have a couple of small trips to Chicago planed to visit family, and will have our nieces visiting for a couple weeks. Well her are some pics

The Folded Napkin

2008-04-29T20:56:00.000-07:00

The Folded Napkin -- A Truckers Story

I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie. He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome. I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade. The four-wheeler drivers were the ones who concerned me; the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded "truck stop germ" the pairs of white-shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks. I shouldn't have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot. After that, I really didn't care what the rest of the customers thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old kid in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties. Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a bread crumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table. Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto his cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met. Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work. He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His s ocial worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often have heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months. A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine. Frannie, the head waitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news. Marvin Ri ngers, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of this 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Marvin a withering look. He grinned. "OK, Frannie,! what was that all about?" he asked. "We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay." "I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?" Frannie quickly told Marvin and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery, then sighed: "Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK," she said. "But I don't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills.. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is." Marvin nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables. Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do. After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face. "What's up?" I asked. "I didn't get that table where Marvin and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pete and Tony were sitting there when I got back to clean it off," she said. "This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup" She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed "Something For Stevie". "Pete asked me what that was all about," she said, "so I told him about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they end ed up giving me this." She handed me another paper napkin that had "Something For Stevie" scrawled on its outside Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds. Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: "truckers." That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work His placement worker said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called 10 times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy. I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. I then met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back. Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting. "Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast," I said. I took him and his mo ther by their arms. "Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate you coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!" I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room. I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins. "First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess," I said. I tried to sound stern. Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had "Something for Stevie" printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table. Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it. I turned to his mother. "There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. "Happy Thanksgiving,". Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well. But you know what's funny? While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table. Best worker I ever hired.

God feeds the birds

2008-04-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

I often find myself in awe of how much God has provided for my family. I look at our nice car, and our nice home. And I can't help but think how much God really has blessed me. I can remember a time when money wasn't their and the selves seemed to be bear, but God always provided. Lately I have noticed that my thankfulness turns me into thinking, I always want my children to know that God is our provider, and that he blesses his children who obey. I look at my children, as most mothers do, and I wonder what they will become, and what awesome potential God has in store for them. I look at Jocelynn sleeping in my arms and I can imagine her being a teacher, or a singer, maybe she will go into politics, if she is anything like me she will have something to say about EVERYTHING. I see just how much she has grown, and I wonder if I can ever grasp how great her potential is. And then I look at Zeke and my heart begins to break. I worry, I worry more then I should. He has great potential, and sadly I find myself selling him short. He is SMART I tell him that everyday, and I know how much God has really blessed him. But still I worry. We have our good days and our bad days with him, some days are great he will sign and say stuff and I can see Zeke, other days our bad days he doesn't sign just yells and cries and this is frustrating beyond belief and unfortunately I find it hard to look past the situation and see my little boy. Yesterday was a bad day, and I started to worry about his future, if he would be able to survive, I worry that he might be all alone one day. This is a scary thought, for any mother, a thought we don't even think about. After all we would get nowhere if we set and listed the what if's in life. So I don't dwell on these concerns I know my God is greater, but sometimes at night I find myself wondering these things. When you have a child with no health concerns it is easy to see the future bight, but when you have a child with concerns, sometimes it takes a little more looking though the fog. Last night was one of those nights, I was trying to look for the sunny meadows, but the fog just kept getting in my way. But God was thinking of me on His thorn and he had someone send an email (I'll post it later), this email talked of a Down's boy who busted table's at a local truck stop, he quickly became a favorite, though out the story he becomes ill and as truckers and regulars here of his story they do a remarkable thing for this boy. The story touched my heart, as I read the story with tear filled eyes, God spoke to me and reminded me that HE will ALWAYS take care of Zeke, that it isn't for me to worry. God's plan for our life's and our children's life's is bigger then we can ever imagine. Don't sell yourself short, or your children only God knows what they are fully capable to do. and Remember God feeds the birds.
Matthew 6: 25-34 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2008-04-18T03:37:00.000-07:00

It's 6:37 and I'm awake. Why? Great question, an earthquake hit about an hour ago i'm sure you heard, and Jocelynn is wide awake. Apparently for her she missed the "go back to sleep, it's toooooo early" memo. So I thought I would blog. Lets talk about the earthquake. I think it is a really big deal, this is IN and stuff like that doesn't happen, we like the storms. And face it when you live in the mid-west, weather is news. So Richard and I are both sounds asleep, when a very loud rumble, is heard and felt, we both sit up and I tell him to go get Zeke (who is sleeping in his own bed) We were very confused the shaking and the loudness was a little over whelming. I have never experienced anything like this. Neat, but I don't think I want to be felling them all the time, California can have them. Ok, on to bigger and better things. Jocelynn is crawling, and pulling up, each time she crawls she is getting a little faster and faster. Joce is becoming such a big girl, it's wonderful at times to see them growing up. I love to see her discover new things. Zeke (who is walking now) is becoming such a big boy he is starting to become very independent, as wonderful as this is, it is a little heart-breaking, when your children need you less, and less. He is sleeping in his own room now. and doing great with therapies. Jocelynn is also becoming independent. Nothing else to exciting has been taking place in our humble home. I will be sure to blog more when there is more to say.

2008-04-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

So not to much has been going on in the house lately. Spring is finally here, and I am so thankful that we are able to take the kids out.

Zeke is walking now, which is wonderful. We have waited so long for him to be up and moving on his own. Slowly each day, he spends more time on his feet and less time on the floor. I can't wait for him to be able to go play outside in the grass, he loves looking outside and I just know that he will love being outside, climbing trees, playing in dirt; boy stuff. He has had two doctor visits, that have went pretty good. The first one was with an ENT up at Riley, the outcome was what we expected tubes in his ears. This will be done up in Indy, as an outpatient surgery on June 16th. As the day nears, I get more nervous (I have an extreme phobia towards surgery) but I just remember that Zeke is in God's hands, and it will be OK. His second appointment was just an eye exam, which Zeke did extremely great for ( I didn't think he would let them look at his eyes). This visit I figured that he might need glasses (Almost all kids with Downs' do) but PRAISE GOD he doesn't, they just said come back in a year. March was a very good month for Zeke, He began walking, he can say yes, more, sissy, and NO; he is signing about 8 words, and knows 4 or 5 body parts. I know this seems very delayed, but for kids with Downs this is amazing, many kids are no where near these big milestones. I remember how when Zeke was born they told us he wouldn't walk until he was about 3 years (If only those Dr.s could see him now). I don't know how people can look at someone like Zeke and say that God doesn't exists.

Now I'm gonna fill bad cause I don't have as much to brag on Jocelynn about. I'll try my best. Who would have thought that in such a short time, so much can change. Jocelynn is getting big, She is a pro at the army crawl. She is insanely fast, for someone who has only been doing it a few weeks. She is everywhere, her favorite place is under the table, any table. Jocelynn will rock on her hands and knees but isn't crawling yet (soon, too soon). She loves to have attention, and will do whatever she needs too to get it. The other day, she said MAMA and DADA for the first time. It was adorable, and now says them both frequently. And her and Zeke are so good together, they play and laugh together, as a mom I hope that it is always like this, that they will always be best friends. This week has been a little rough for Joce :( I'm almost sure it is her 1st tooth just trying to break though, she hasn't been eating good, and her mouth is pretty sore :( I keep waking up hoping to find a tooth but only gum. I just hate her being so uncomfortable. However, she has been sleeping OK, nothing to complain about as long as I hold her (I know, I know but hey they are only little once)

So that is what's up here. Oh my husband did switch shifts 3pm-11pm, It has it's positives and negatives and I'm not sure which I like better nights or this, But only for a little bit (were praying for a days position, even though it will probably be a couple years down the road, God opens doors) Work is going fine.

Oh I almost forgot, Zeke's PT(physical therapist) said that he was doing so well, that he only needs to be seen once a week. We have a meeting on Thursday to write out a plan for this next year, so I'm not sure what with therapy they will recommend, but for this week at least only 3 therapies.

"Rejoice in the Lord always, Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be know to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace or God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hears and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 4-7

2008-03-16T05:14:00.000-07:00

OK, so for the many request to update my blog. I am finally sitting down to do so. What a few couple of weeks it has been. Every week is something new, there is always drama, always new accomplishments, always a few tears, and always a Lot of laughing. Since I last updated. Zeke and Jocelynn have reached milestones in there life. Zeke has began to walk, when he isn't being stubborn he can take up to 10 steps by himself. He is able to stand himself up in the middle of the floor and take off, stop and pick up and item. He is really doing great and we are so proud. Jocelynn is becoming a big girl to quickly, she is sitting up completely, army crawling, and just recently trying to pull herself up. With Zeke i was ready for him to do that, but not Jocelynn can someone please tell her to stop growing for a little bit (she's not listening to me). I have been adjusting well to going back to work, at some days I hate it (Zeke has started going though the separation stage :( and sometimes cries when I drop him off at my sisters ) but other days I really enjoy the short break that I get. With Zeke especially it can really wear you and and frustrate a person (anyone with a strong willed kid can understand) and the break is good on the kids to. However I do miss them. They grow up to fast, Zeke's first step provider is already talking about him in preschool. I'm not ready to even think about that. Helen has been in and out of the hospital, she is doing well now. And Richard is soon to have an advancement at work. Even with all the stress in my life, God has been really good to us. Oh Zeke's newest thing is attitude. He roles his eyes, says NO, and will ignore anyone he fells like it, it is funny to watch him do this, but at the same time really makes you see just how much your kids learn from you.

Zeke picking up sissy's toys

Zeke- I have no clue what he is doing

Jocelynn playing with her toys

Jocelynn eating

Saturday was a big day for us Jocelynn and I went to our first mother daughter tea party. It was very nice and I had a lot of fun. When I was little I always loved going to mother daughter events, and now I am blessed to be able to take my girl. It is moments that we will always have just us, we can spend one on one time with each other. She helped me make a scrap book page for her. and even though the only thing she did was chew on the paper, our time together was precious and I look forward to many more mother daughter events. We also took Zeke and Jocelynn to their first movie. None other than Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who. Even though I spent the first 45 mins in the hallway and the rest of the time holding a sleeping child, it was very well worth it. Jocelynn slept until the last 25 mins of it and Richard slept the first hour. But I would do it again, Just to watch Zeke's little hand in the popcorn bucket. I am so thankful that we are blessed to take our children to the movies, this is a nice privilege, that I never had as a child. And although we probably wont be repeating it soon, I'm glad I was able to give my kids the experience.

Zeke is 2

2008-02-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

As much as I tried, I couldn't keep this day away any longer. I'm thrilled that Zeke is 2, it's exciting to see him grow and learn new things each and every day. But as a mother it breaks my heart, that he can't be my sweet little baby boy forever. I reflect on how far we have come. How blessed we are to have him, I remember the fear that filled are hearts just 2 short years ago. Who would have ever thought that he would be such a big boy. God knew just what, he was doing when he gave Zeke to us. He already new the frustation, and the tears; the ups and downs; in God's prefect plan, He knew. Yet, he still trusted us to raise him. Miricles come at the unexpected time, and sadly many of the greatest miricles we miss, because we are to busy. Zeke taught me something the other day, as we were opening his presents. Many of us would just ripe open the wrapping throwing it on the flood, to see what was inside. Zeke didn't do this, he took his time, and examed the paper, as if that were his gift. even after seeing a portion of the toy inside he sill took his time with the paper. That act of taking his time, made me think how often we as adults are so busy to accomplish all we have set out to do; that we ofter miss out on the little things. I now I am guilty of not taking time to play with the kids because there is laundry or dishes to do. But often when we slow down and take life one second at a time, instead of one day. It is then that we relize the miricles God has lined out for us along the way.

2008-02-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

Well, what a week it has been. This past Saturday I had to take Zeke to the hospital with a high fever due from an infection on his bottom (a boil). This turned out to be MRSA, and he had a really hard time fighting the infection, which left us in the hospital until Monday night. He is still in alot of pain, and the Dr. is still concerned about the spot, she has switched his antibiotic to a stonger one. Thankfully, Zeke is a troper when it comes to not felling the greatest, he still plays and just looking at him you would never think that something was wrong. I'm praying that this will pass and we will never have to mess with it agian. Jocelynn is getting TOOOOOOOOOOOO BIG, just yesterday she was born. Today she is 6 months old, rolling everywhere. The other day I found her under our coffee table. I almost forgot about the rolling stage, She is everywhere. As glad as I am to see her developing, it brakes my heart that she is getting big, and all to quickly won't be my little baby anymore. As for me I am back to work :( but there isn't much to complain about, it is only for 10 hrs a week and I like the people I work with. Just a little break from the kids. I think they need the break from mommy, more then I need a break from them. Anyway Zeke has an appointment next week with an ENT up at Riley, please keep this in your prayers that everything goes good and he doesn't have to have tubes put in his ears, I know it is a minor and rutien but surgrey FREAKS me out. I know God has truely had his hand on Zeke's health, there is no other explanation for his great health, a kid with Down's to only be in the hospital once befor age 2 is almost unheard of. Richard, Zeke, Jocelynn and I thank all of you for your prayers, they are felt. As soon as I get some pics of off my phone I will post some new ones of the kids. God Bless

2008-01-22T10:06:00.000-08:00

Well life here in the Contreras house, has been fairly slow lately. Zeke is doing great with his therapies and we are hoping that we will have his walker in fairly soon. As thankful as I am for first steps providing the walker, I wish that the process of receiving it would be quicker (Zeke is getting heavy). Jocelynn is reaching milestones right and left. She is very comfortable on the floor, she can turn herself in a complete circle, and roles over with ease. Jocelynn enjoys sitting up with very little help, and she loves eating food.
This is a bitter~sweet week for me, as I will be returning to work on Wednesday. However their is a lot more bitter than sweet about this. Thankfully I will only have to work 2 days a week. I will be retuning to the watch shop, and I like the atmosphere however I dread leaving the kids. I do think that It will be good for all of us to have some time away from me and more time with their dad. We are also hoping for a promotion for Richards job, it would mean him back on 3-11 shift but it is the only way to move up the ladder.
That is all the exciting things happening at our house these days, hopefully in the coming weeks I will have more to wright about. As for now may God bless your family as he has mine.

2008-01-02T05:59:00.000-08:00

WISHING YOU THE BEST YEAR

TO COME IN 2008

VIOLA HUNGRY

JOCELYNN AND ZEKE

Well, once again Christmas has came and gone. After all the weeks of preparing, the gifts, the decorations, the visiting with family and friends. It is all over; the decorations are down the visiting has came with to end and the gifts have been unwrapped. December for us went by in such speed that we almost missed Christmas. Christmas was busy but very nice. We celebrated with Hungry's side the Saturday night before Christmas, this was a great plan, there was no rush just a relaxing time with family: good food and great fellowship. Christmas Eve we celebrated at home, after church we drove around Terre Haute to try to find something to eat (Papa Johns was the only place open) then we went home. The kids had fallen asleep in the car, so we woke them up when we got home. We wanted Zeke to see that Santa was the one who brought the gifts under the tree Christmas morning, so we let Zeke and Jocelynn open the gifts that were already under the tree. So the next morning Zeke woke up at 7 which wasn't to bad, however it took us a good 15 min. to get him into the living room. For some unknown reason, he decided to play in the kitchen before going anywhere that morning. Well Zeke and Jocelynn, both really enjoyed Christmas.

New Years day was wonderful. We did nothing and i mean NOTHING. I don't know that last day I can say that happened, we stayed home in Pajamas and played with the kids. While Hungry had went out to get the Pizza, I decided to share a snack with Zeke, milk and cookies, which I figured needed to be put up when Zeke was climbing over his cookie to get to the plate of cookies. You got to love being 2. And to brag on my son a little more, he did the most amazing thing I had laid Jocelynn on the floor for some tummy time, and Zeke went all the way across the room, got a toy and brought it to Jocelynn. I was touched at how caring and thoughtful his action was, he is always looking out for Sissy.

To brag on Jocelynn, she is eating baby food, which she loves. She roles over, and is trying to sit up. My little Princess really is getting to big to fast.

Anyway i hope everyone reading this had a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year.

P.S. update on Zeke's appointments: Thyroid test came back fine, Hearing test was good, and Heart Eco was good, there is still a small hole, but the Dr. is very hopeful it will close on its own, we don't need to see him until the Summer of 09. God is good.

WHY

2007-12-16T13:24:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the why's in life don't get answered and the fingers have no one to point to. But God ALWAYS has a plan. Remember he knew you in your mothers womb, and has be preparing your life to handle the situations you will face. We aren't taught to accept things in this life, from when we are little we are taught to question everything and leave nothing undone. They teach us that every question has an answer(science can prove all). However they fell to teach us life, that you get the cards you are dealt. But the cards are not only by mishap or any ones fate. God chose them, just for you because that is how much he loves you. Yes things can alter the outcome, or even make them seem unfair. But that is when you find the courage within. To see the blessing, behind the mask. It's hard to surrender to such a greeter cause, when we aren't in the front seat. God's plan is long term and for a much greater good. Just trust in him and know that all good and perfect things come from above. What many overlook is what the good and perfect things are. This is in God's eyes not ours. He formed the world out of nothing and humans from dirt.

Random Thoughts

2007-12-09T12:06:00.000-08:00

I haven't written anything in a while and thought I might add some thoughts. Christmas this year just seems to be going by way to fast, isn't it funny how the older you get the faster life seems to fly bye. This year is rather slow for us, we don't have many events to go to, and most of are evenings will be spent watching TV. Hungry is working a bunch of over time and although I am very grateful, it is rough, being that we only get to spend a little time with each other each day, and that is usually done when he is helping with the kids. The Kids are doing great. Jocelynn is getting to that fun age, when they talk and play, she is tolerating belly time a lot more now, and is infatuated with her hands; Zeke is getting used to her being on the ground, and is starting to let her play by herself. I am so grateful the Zeke is a good big brother, he really loves his sissy, always giving her kisses, I have to tell him she only needs one kiss at a time. Jocelynn tries to sit up whenever she is lying on the floor, she loves to know what is going on around her. Her and Zeke have conversations all day long, it's really cute. Zeke is so close to walking, I joke with his therapist that he is going to take off running and skip the whole walking thing. (if you have seen him crawl you know why) It's so great watching them grow up. Zeke is starting to like Christmas, the lights, the songs, and hopefully Santa. It is really cute he has his eye on a gift under the tree that Jocelynn brought for him, he bangs on it right now but by Christmas morning he will know what to do with it.

Christmas With a Capital

2007-11-27T10:59:00.001-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Thankful

2007-11-20T21:05:00.001-08:00

As Thanksgiving is in a few days, I would like to share a great report we received from the Doctor up at Riley. Many of you know that Zeke has had a spitting up problem since about June, and in a August, after doing some test they placed him on some medicine. One of these meds he takes morning and night, the other her takes 15-30 min. before each meal. It is horrible on both him and us, because we hate that it isn't enough, for him to be delayed, he is constantly facing challenges in his health. Anyway I took him up to the GI doctor, and he was very pleased with the progress he has made, since August Zeke has grained 2 lbs and has also grown in height. The spitting up is reduced to very little. The doctor took him off the medicine that he took morning and night, and said to only give him the medicine before he eats if he needs it (for more acids or liquid foods). It is wonder to here some great news from doctors. It is hard when your little ones are sick and giving them the medicine isn't easy or fun, but we do it for them to make them better. Zeke is remarkable, he can put a smile on any ones face and lights up the darkest room. So I was thrilled to here that we could cut back on his medication, and that once again God protected my son from the knife of surgery. God is a Great and Healing God, The doctors are amazed at Zeke's health and his progress, even though it doesn't seem like he is accomplishing much, he will show me sings or point to what he wants (which communication is highly underrated) I am also thankful for every little role on Jocelynn, she is a beautiful girl, and I can not wait to see what she will become, I really which I had more to write about her, but she is only 3 months old, she eats, sleeps, poops, spits up, talks, smiles. She is very alert and very nosy (I gave that trait to both my kids). I am also thankful for many things, Life, Friends, Family, Salvation. So I have alot to be thankful for, and the said thing is I take alot of it for granted way to much. There is one thing that being a mom has taught me is how to make Lemonade. You are only given each day once, when it is gone, it's gone. And I love watching my kids, they know how to make the best out of the day take it slow: Sleep, Eat, Play, Repeat.

2007-11-15T11:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't added anything in a couple of weeks so here are some photos. the kids are doing good, and life is going bye way to fast.

No 5 am. bottle

2007-11-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

OK so I been blessed beyond belief. I have a wonderful husband, great family and friends, and two wonderful children Tomato and Princess. So why do I allow myself to fell down? I don't know just being selfish I guess. Yes it is hard work, I don't think people really understand the amount of hard, physical labor that goes into being a stay at home mom. I don't tell people I'm unemployed, I tell people I'm a mom. I have heard that the salary of what a homemaker does is around $130,000 that is alot. However I don't think anyone could really pay me enough, my payment is received when my Tomato head comes and gives me a big hug; or when my Princess talks and smiles at me. Those are what makes it all worth it. Yes, staying home has STRESS written all over it: Laundry, Dishes, Diaper changes, picking up toys, Laundry, cleaning, cooking, Laundry, washing bottles, did I mention Laundry. And yet people still wonder what we do all day sitting at home. I didn't being to mention how we take care of the bills, being the taxi driver, Dr's and Schools, the grocery's. and everything else that magically gets done around the house. Do for all of you that stay at home and are felling a little burnt out, just remember all those little hugs and smiles and MOMS are just your families way of saying "Thank you mom for all you do"

FALL

2007-10-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

Well fall is finally upon us. Summer is days behind us, and kids are back in school. The temp is finally right to do some cooking, and the holidays are right around the corner. The festivals are here, the parties have began; there are hayrides and bonfires, pumpkin patches, and mazes through corn fields, shorter evenings and jumping in leaves. The air is crisp and clean, the wind is gentle and soft, as fall fragrances fill the air. Their are long afternoon walks, and taking kids to the park for that one last change before cabin fever begins to set in. Jack-o-lanterns and harvest baskets; pumpkin pies and apple cider. The beauty of fall is not hard to miss, the leaves tell a story. Look up at the trees and you will see that God loves us all dearly. And he painted a beautiful picture just for us to see.

2007-10-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, has been one of the busiest weekends I have had in a very long time. On Friday Richard and I took the kids to covered bridge, this was both of their first time at the festival. We enjoyed it very much; it was wonderful to get out into the fresh air one last time before the winter months begin to set in. The turned out to be beautiful, and there is something about long drives on country roads that is peaceful and relaxing. It was wonderful to step away from our ever so busy lives to do nothing more than talk and relax. Oh did I mention the Food. Pumpkin Ice Cream is the best!

Ok, so on to me weekend. Saturday we went up to Indianapolis to the Buddy Walk. This is the fundraiser for the Downs' Foundation, It was very nice. One of the hardest parts of being a parent of a special needs child is feeling like you are raising a child alone. Yes friends are wonderful and everyone tries to relate, but unless you have actually been in the shoes it is hard to truly understand. It is almost like everyone is trying to but on Cinderalla's glass shoe. I know I'm not alone and my friends truly try to relate, but it is very important and wonderful when someone can say I know what it is to wait so long for something so simple to happen. Like taking steps. It is wonderful to see other kids’ successes at a task but at the very same time heart breaking to watch your own child struggle so hard to accomplish it. So it was very nice to see so many families up there and a blessing from God. There was a group up there whose team name was "Days of Elijah" and the back of their shirts read Jeremiah 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This really spoke to me a scripture that God had given me a week ago during my devotion. God was just confirming that he hadn't forgotten us and He has a plan. The day turned out to be beautiful, and we were able to spend sometime with my dad.

Sunday was a day I will remember, my family, minus my husband and my sisters boyfriend, took a trip. Crystal and Amber can relate to get there it took 3 cars 4 car seats and 10 passengers for 3 hours on the road. My grandmother Peters (a step grandmother but I have never known her to be anything more than a grandma) is rather ill, she has terminal cancer that is spreading rather rapidly. This being the case, we all went up to see her. She is a wonderful, full of life, spirited lady; however this trip was different. Her body was limp as she sat in her chair and she didn't have any makeup on. Her head was cover with a hat and her glasses where no more, the one time she took her hat off it reveled very thin fine gray hair, the little that remained. Unfortunately, I have not had the privilege of growing up knowing my grandparents (for all who have, even if you do not get along, you should be thankful). Sadly if the majority of my cousins where to walk past me on the street I wouldn't recognize them. The memories I have of my grandmother are good, even though they are few. She would do the things that grandmothers do, make you fell special, cook you treats, and by special things just for you. But I remember she was always doing word searches, and she always used this liquid sweetener with her tea. Just little things that reminds me of her. I was glad to make the trip; although she was unable to hold her she met Jocelynn, and was able to see all of us there together. We had a picnic outside and just visited. A day I know she was thankful for, after leaving my grandma and grandpa's we went to our other grandmothers, know this one is my dad's real mom but like I said before we have only known it to be two grandma's and one grandpa. My step grandfather I never knew, he passed away in the early 90's. Although all my brothers and sisters where born before then, only 2 had ever met him, like I said be thankful. This grandmother is doing well, and so was my uncle Steve whom we saw for a little bit. She was able to hold Jocelynn, whom she held for the whole night. Both my grandmothers get along very good, and I know both where overjoyed to see all of there grandchildren, and great grand children from my dad. This is a true blessing for them, because they do not often get to see us.

By Sunday night when we arrived home I was exhausted, but I was glad for the weekend and thankful for spending time with my family. We don't always see eye to eye and we are all very different, but they are my family, and I am who I am because of the impact they have had on my life. The choices I make and the things I do, are often the affect of the way they have impacted my life. Before you go to bed, make sure you say a special prayer for each member of your family (even the ones you don't want to accept or care for to much) and make it an effort to say a hello to a family member. I hope when your turn comes to speaking about a dying loved one you have much to say, and remember that the shoe that fits your friends doesn't and won't always fit you and that is alright.

I Did It

2007-10-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was playing with Zeke on the floor he said his first sentence. I was trying to keep him quiet as his sister was sleeping and we were watching a movie. So I was helping him play with those link, snack like toys that you pull apart and put back together. This is a task that his therapist has been working on with him. He has the basic idea, but for him it takes a lot of work and effort to connect the two parts t0gether ( a skill many of us take for granted). As we are working hard, Zeke places the two together with me holding one and guiding the other. (Most of the placing stuff into a hole or one something is done with hands on help ). Then he looked up at me a said "I did It", proud as can be and went along playing. Of course it took me a second to register what He had just said. And Zeke just giggled. I probably wont hear it for some time, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that he said clear as day and I heard it. Jocelynn is doing great too, she is more alert and active as each day roles by. I can't wait to see what she will grow up to become, and for her to make discoveries like her brother does everyday.

2007-09-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

This week has been a bitter-sweet week in my house. Nothing is happening, so I'm sorry to disappoint some of you out there. But to those who care: Jocelynn is going to be 8 weeks old in about 9 hours, it is hard to believe how fast these weeks have gone by. She is holding her head up more and more each day, and it seems that each day she stays awake just a little bit longer smiling and cooing and doing the really cute stuff that you think of when you think of a baby. Her face is starting to fill out, she is so beautiful. I can just eat her up all day long. she isn't my newborn anymore :( It is a bitter-sweet thing, I want her to grow up big, however 8 weeks is to soon. Any parent reading this knows what I mean. Ezekiel hasn't let his sister take all the spot light this week. He is starting to take steps along side objects and if he is in a good mood, he will even walk across the floor while you are holding his hands. He can know sign eat, dog, all done, and he will try drink. I have also seen him sign Mama (although I love hearing him say it and would rather hear him say it than to sign it), and sleep.
For anyone concerned he will learn to talk just in his time and the signing will help him along the way. But he to is growing up, as glad as I am to have him grow up I miss them being little. For most people reading this, these little milestones don't seem like much, but for the moms out there these are the things we cry tears of joy over. Hear is a song by Martina McBride, that has nothing to do with my rambling above, but I really like it.

You can spend your whole life buildin'

Somethin' from nothin'

One storm can come and blow it all away

Build it anyway

You can chase a dream

That seems so out of reach

And you know it might not ever come your way

Dream it anyway

(Chorus)

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good

When I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should

But I do it anyway

I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe

That tomorrow will be better than today

Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart

For all the right reasons

And in a moment they can choose to walk away

Love 'em anyway

(Repeat Chorus)

You can pour your soul out singin'

A song you believe in

That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang

Sing it anyway

Yeah sing it anyway

I sing

I dream

I love anyway

by: Martina McBride

2007-09-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder what drives us to doing the things that we do? Is it the people around us, the thrill of the moment, the joy we fell after completing a task, or do we do it out of want or necessity? I firmly believe that everyone has a purpose in life; but what about are day to day lives. Here's one for example, why do we fell the need to check the mail everyday, when we know that most likely the only thing in there will be bills or credit card applications and the other junk mail that will go right into the trash the second we walk back into the house. I can answer that one, it is something my son looks forward to, on most days it is our chance to get out of the house and into the fresh air. It's just a short walk across the street but he likes it. My day is felled with love and excitement and plenty of dirty diapers, but I get up every morning for my kids, they make 3am and 5am and 7am well worth waking up for. Don't get me wrong I would love to sleep through the night and wake up at an hour that has two digits in it, but then I would be missing out on the bonding moments with my son and daughter. My son is a joy always but his happiest moments are in the morning when he is full of energy, and my daughter a delight all day, but it is the middle of the night feedings when we get to bond just me and her. They are why I love my life so much. Who would have ever known that the best times in life are not when you are doing something for yourself, but instead it is when you are doing it for others. " Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men"Ephesians 6:7

2007-09-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

This is just a little reason why I am so blessed. I must warn you it is a little long, but well worth the time.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

2007-09-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a lady the other night, and she was telling me how she had 10 kids in 15 years. I thought to myself WOW!!!! I'm not sure how women like her managed. I find myself going insane with just 2. I mean granted that a newborn is never easy, but how on earth to have 10 kids, amazing. Anyway my point is do you remember when you were your kids age. The biggest concern was what you were going to do since it was raining outside. I think back and wonder why I was in such a hurry to grow up when I had it so easy. I've thinking about everything I have to do know in my life: clean, take care of kids and mother-in-law and husband. Life seems so consuming that I wonder is life really so stressful or am I just making it out to be. I leave you with this the next time you are outside stop and watch a squirrel in the tree, or listen to the birds singing and remember what is was like to be a little one, and remember that life isn't as bad as you make it seem.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psamls 28:7

A Creed to Babies with Down Syndrome

2007-08-31T10:33:00.000-07:00

My face may be different

But my feelings the same

I laugh and I cry

And I take pride in my gains

I was sent here among you

To teach you to love

As God in the heavens

Looks down from above

To Him I'm no different

His love knows no bounds

It's those here among you

In cities and towns

That judge me by standards

That man has imparted

But this family I've chosen

Will help me get started

For I'm one of the children

So special and few

That came here to learn

The same lessons as you

That love is acceptance

It must come from the heart

We all have the same purpose

Though not the same start

The Lord gave me life

To live and embrace

And I'll do it as you do

But at my own pace

author: unknown

2007-08-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how a little 6 lb 5oz doll can change your life. I finally had my little girl and she is prefect. I'm crazy busy, and actually love every second of it. It's funny how dirty diaper and laundry can make you happy. Not that I enjoy the house chores, but I enjoy taking care of my family.

So Jocelynn is here and Big Brother Zeke absolutely loves her. He keeps me on my toes. He wants to share every minute with her, it's really cute, and I am so glad that he likes his baby sister.

For those wandering she was born on August 3rd and is perfectly healthy. She is a really good baby. She is a tiny little thing only 6 lbs 5 oz and 19 in. But we love her all the same.

The Road of Life

2007-07-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

Life changes from day to day. In one moment your life can take an unexpected road, unplanned and unseen. However this is your life and you make the choice if the new road you are on will be positive or negative; you are the one who decides the detours on the road and which ones you take or just pass by. Although life will place you on a road you will decide the out come of such the road. Negative roads can be made positive by the driver in the car, and Positive roads can be quickly turn to a negative road. It is up to the driver to decide which way his or her path will turn out, the road is laid out with many detours but the car and keys are placed in the drivers hand.

For me this leason was learned early in life, many people spend time trying to draw the road of life, and don't relize that an expert in map making has already laid it out we just have to decide how our path will lead. There are very few garentess in life, your not promised what many take for granted daily. It is through life that you find such things as happiness, family and friends, comfort and wealth. Thankfully, my supplier in life has provided me with all these things and more though His blessings. Everyday I am thankful for my family and friends, my health and the health of those around me, the wealth provided from my heavenly father, whom has met and surpassed all my needs time and time again.